Rainey Lifestyle

Sorry

2012-02-13T01:29:00.007+08:00

13/2/2012-Monday

I promised myself at least did something for my assignment but ended up with a bowl of tear. I cry till i numb. BIG girls don't cry but just treat I'm still a little girl now. I'm turning into adults already so I can simply take all these as small tiny problem. But as for me, I can die for it. Seriously, love is not kind of thing that you can simply play with. 唔好玩火!

Just read something..At least I knew what's I'm in your mind.Those night you told me in car, what i had told you is not about I'm so fake. I'm exactly standing the position like..ya, of course I'm not as deep as you. But i knew what's going on. If this person willing to give everything to you then he wouldn't give a second chance to others. Others may don't care, but what I told you..a hint? Imagine i told you everything, then what about him? Don't you care? I absolutely wrong in this situation but what else? Even I knew forgiven is here but of course deep down everything will not remain as previous. But at least a friend!? Sorry girl. I'm not a good friend to you. But not giving up this word..Leaving may heal your wound. So very soon. One thing you should know, you're very lucky girl coz you have lot of concern friend to you. I doesn't have this chance so often. People usually come and go. I'm not comparing but you look back, you actually earn a lot of good opportunity. I'm actually think of quiting from your life. Coz seriously, I'm like the one who ruin your life. All the people around you may hatred me so much but I hardly to do so. You're like my sister. But at least a friend for now..I'm ok. As long as you feel comfortable with them. Then I know what to do

P/S: Not a fake post to you ok. LOL.. It's like we bring it out and talk about already so no point to tell lies again. IDK why I have such feeling is now I tell you about something, I may think that you will have a strong feeling I'm telling lies. Maybe still have things that we may not voice it out. But counted as lies as well?

By the way, saw some pictures through facebook..girls keep posting roses now..so beautiful :)

Like or Love

2012-02-12T23:02:00.006+08:00

12/2/2012-Sunday

Holla my bloggie, it's Sunday and today was a pretty boring day. So lifeless driving a car to no where. The parent seriously turning me upside down. Daddy mumble to me about her yet mummy drag me to be her listener. I understand that they need a listener so badly but why at this moment? They used to hide from my brothers just because they doesn't want to give them pressure. So, what about me? For your information, my parent's voice is like...LION KING AND TIGER WOMAN ROARING IN THE JUNGLE! I'm real in bad mood today..feels like finding someone to accompany but ended up, i gave up this thought. I know i shouldn't find him so all I do is just control myself not to text him nor call him.

After giving mummy a ride to office, I drove alone to somewhere else..just don't know where to go, what to do. I stopped at a road side, looking upon the sky, listen to radio songs. Apparently, memang a silly girl!I think i have weird habit like ..love to stay inside the car. Passerby often stared on me and i was like..NOT YOUR BUSINESS PLEASE! I'm pretty sure everyone needs a little space for sometime. And as for me, I did the same thing too. I can stay alone inside the car for 2 hours!? Shopping alone for whole day? But one thing, I hate to eat alone :( What else?? I HATE TO STAY ALONE at home too ..sigh! I don't know how to deal with family issues like please oh please, I hope no more argument after this. Daddy and mummy really can threw off whatever shit and crap to each other like.." You go die!" I was like..Gosh, you two had gone through so much and pay freaking lot of effort to build up this family. Why scold like that? I even cried inside the car and questioning myself..why am I such a failure? I can't handle everything all at a time.

Until night, I had dinner with mummy. Just both of us..I never voice out a single word. I knew she was very upset about daddy. I started to wonder we teenager love to gather with friends, yum cha everyday, club, drink or whatever. We used to be so close and share our thoughts to friend but how come not family? All of sudden, I feel so sorry to my parent. I strongly believe that they would like to know what is my life is going about but what? They wouldn't accept the fact we young adults been so over..stay up late every night, play eat sleep all day! That's how we act when we are young right? I bet when I have my children and husband, I wish we could share out and have talk for once in a while. There comes heavy rain, how I wish I can run to outside and let the rain over me!

I cannot deny that his tweet have the ability to affect my mood. Like vs love..how do you think? I have so much of thought after I saw his tweet and....I know myself well, if I spend all my time against this person, I'm sure my love towards him will goes deep down. So since he move backward, what should I do at this point? I'm so lost! Telling myself not to go ahead on you anymore because if we attach again, lotsa of problem will pops out. Eventually, we ended up with tears, sorrow, argument and pain. So I think why me? I'm just a girl who need a guy who can protect and love me no matter what. Why I'm not allow to have this chance? Now I saw every where, people, facebook, twitter are talking about Valentine..Sadly, I gonna spend my 21st Valentine alone again! sigh =(

iamcrying theheartisbleeding

2012-02-12T01:58:00.004+08:00

12/12/2012- Sunday

I have urge to post all in sudden. It's been 6 months since i blog about my life and so on. Blog has been a super private place for me to express my feeling and thoughts whenever i facing difficulties. Seriously, I'm so fucking wrong this time. Absolutely a difficult task appearing and i can't believe that the heart broke for once again! When I first met you, I honestly didn't know you're so important to me. But of course, she's more into you and she appreciated you very much. Am I the one who broke everything? I broke the friendship between you and me? I met you since January 2010..day by day pass, we are like sister to each other but WHY? WHY? AM I THE WRONG ONE? Like sorry? Please understand me and I knew i did so much wrong decision and causing you lose trust on me. But for so long, I had been care for too much. I knew everything is too late. I have a very strong sense that one day, everything will gone without a goodbye. This is most painful ever in human life. Okay, just treat I am the wrong and it's time to pay back everything again. I wonder how much do I have to pay for this time? Admitting sorry like a dog doesn't mean I'm scare. I'm wrong, I know but not necessary every part. Anyhow, just come to me for one shot. It's killing..

Not dare to post any single thing on twitter, facebook or instagram. Not dare to tell my problem to anyone, or what. I wanted to but who else gonna be there for me? I don't wanna cause any argument anymore so i shall digest every little thing slowly. Because I did something wrong and i lose a friend like you. I'm sorry. But seriously, I'm deep deep down broken. The heart is bleeding like nobody business. Blaming myself for why will fall in love with a person that I knew is impossible?? Now I look back in previous month, i seriously missing this person so much. Had a supper steamboat with the family. Brothers and everyone looking good and joyful. Brother turn on tv, a concert show...when comes to Andy Hui sang 唯独你是不可取代. I look through the messages that he sent to me. Tears drop for a few and I quickly wipe it away. Ran to outside of the gate door. Three of my brothers saw but they remained silence. I wanted to cry out loud..wanted to hug the brother and cry as loud as I want. Yelling like a little girl wishing that someone could turn back to me.

What you had told me in previous? Don't you remember? You sang "Last Christmas" to me..you sent me the music video to me,you gave me an add math equation ended with a love, you said you will sayang me no matter what, you said you had gave the best to me and it's time to stop. Don't end up all these with your tears.......a lot ..a lot..a lot more. I cry like I wanna die now! I never know myself will fall on a person again. Please dig out my heart. PLEASE, PLEASE, I BEG YOU GOD! My heart totally broke into pieces pieces again again and again! Let me be a heartless girl. I am so afraid of attaching again. People often come to me..gave me a lesson and that's it. I wanna be a cactus..a cactus that forever people will not come near to me. I really don't know how much time I need now..Assignments, examination and practicum is around the corner. I caused so much problems and making you girls hatred me to much. Maybe I really deserve so I shall settle all these problems by my own. Do you think i can defeat all these in one time?

I want to change. Change back to my normal life as previous. B seriously gave me a big impact. You turned me upside down and now my life is like drinking, smoking, slacking, rotting, partying like there's no tomorrow. HOW GRUESOME LIFE IS THIS? All because you hurt me so fucking much in Zouk Club. I will never forget that night. You drew me a lot of dirty path and i hatred it so much! Ended, I hurt my best girl friend..now I got my pay already. I shall be alone and fight for all these. Before that, can i surrender? Crying while blogging is not a good way to express myself because i can don't know posting what shit thing on here. Cry ...cry until I feel tired then I go to bed. Repeat this for every night so i really seriously honestly feel so scare that the night arrive. People sleeping so soundly then I was like..thinking, missing, crying, dying. I know it's not me who suffering. But what? You guys can still contact, chat, expressing in twitter but ..I really afraid to do so. I'm just like a gutless bitch. Afraid of this and that..What will be the next day? Is there something gonna happen again?

ymi

2011-08-24T22:10:00.004+08:00

25/8/2011- Wednesday

Too much to say but words can't describe my feeling. Like seriously, i feel so numb! Been crying for god-damn-many times! I'm gonna dehydrate soon! Not joking can? Now my eyes hardly open and must lower the brightness of my laptop due to my blur eyes =(
Beginning will be very suffer i know, I'm so ready to face all these problem but you know? I'm just a girl. Being a youngest daughter and need to suck up all of the housework, family issues for every single day. 20 years old is not enough mature right?

我知道逃不过也避不开！昨天吃饭的时候突然哭了。在戏院里哭，回到家在房间哭，今天看着天空哭，冲凉的时候哭，一个人驾车的时候哭而且是下雨天，我的心情特别灰。刚刚听歌时哭。我很累，真的很累！哭，我没关系。但心里的伤很痛很痛。就象有把刀刺着我的心。我很害怕。爱情，你到底是什么东东？是否我错吗？错在爱上一个不可能的人。为什么每次都是我？如果天要立刻拿走我身上的某一样东西，请你拿走我的心。疲倦了。你想要怎样就怎样，反正我也习惯被冷落的感觉。一个人被推开。站在一个角落。放心，我不会翻你也会继续的装开心。只有这样，我身边的朋友就不会知道. 太傻了？在傻的事情，我也做过。每一晚都睡得不好，生不如死！

最近爱上看台湾戏“醉后决定爱上你”！超级好看！被丢下是很难受。他们的每一句话说得对！

你活得开心就好。祝福你！

Are you?

2011-08-23T09:47:00.002+08:00

23/8/2011- Tuesday

It's a gloomy day i think becoz i was frightened by lightning not long ago. Shivering all over. Mind was so blank yet have to up for assignment. I really don't know how can i deal with all these..for how long it takes? Mentally reminding myself not to think, not to care and just leave it like that. I know it will takes me a very very long period of time to heal. All that I can do is pretend as nothing happen, smile to everyone. Seriously, i could show my smile to you guys coz i don't know what to tell and say. So people assumed you're alright then.."It's fine la". I'm so abnormal weih! Twitter and facebook is too public for me right now. Whenever i wanna posted something, i will think twice and carefully make sure that my words will not harsh to others, emo tweet kept to myself! Here is the best place for me blurted out everything.

Sad, i mean yes! Cry? That's enough..I need security and many many! Greedy,not? I never never tend to ask for more. Not even dare to request upon. Silly girl, go back to your assignment. Take a deep breathe before i open my door room. Bcoz i still have to great my family morning!

"Goodbye"

Love yourself first

2011-08-18T11:44:00.002+08:00

18/8/2011- Thursday

Don't you think he's such a cutie?? Obviously la right? I was actually in shit mood in this morning due to some reason but after a while, i think I shouldn't being like this anymore. It's worthless and i don't deserve all these. How wonderful if someone could be with me and help me sort out all of my problems? Could be my assignments! :D I need helper seriously. I have no more motivation to work on it. Whyyyyyy?

Just feels comfortable when someone treat me nice and telling me endless of lame jokes. *smackhead* We are friends like bro and sis and I'm just his listener (:

Restless

2011-08-16T23:40:00.007+08:00

16/8/2011- Tuesday

Well oh well, I'm home alone tonight. Parent and bro up to hill. Underage is like that, can't get in to casino which is sad case. But anyway,i rather spend time to chill or drink with friend instead of gamble. I'm so freaking restless. Someone please gimme a good massage and i need more than 10 hours of slumbering can? Things are getting annoy. Since you decided everything,i shall respect your decision! Happy is more than enough right? Of course, feeling heartache when i saw what you wrote to me. What can I say? Maybe this is the best way to protect yourself. Now you're the one who getting far far apart from me and I have no idea how to convince you anymore. Stay happy then.

As for me, I want to start a new life too! I know ain't easy but what? Life goes on. Nobody gonna help you out accept yourself. Alone might be the best of best choice perhaps. Sounds so boring eh? sigh..no choice no choice! Now i feel so awkward and gruesome on assignments! Fcuking torturing =( At the same time, i do think of working as a part time teacher! I meant it but heyy, exam is coming soon. I gotta start my revision right after I hand in my last 2 assignments! Should I or shouldn't I?

The fact is.....I'm still very sad! Can I have a short vacation? A place that will only bring happiness to me :)

Windy night

2011-08-15T01:59:00.003+08:00

15/8/2011- Monday

It's middle of night, raining out there and I'm still awake. I wanna get into sleep so badly but since I have to wait for my group mate, babe Joey for correcting the assignment. I shall just wait and see what she had done. Officially done with my part. I'm stunning right now ok! Having so much of silly thoughts again, again! Watched the final competition of badminton just now, Lee Chong Wei vs Lin Dan. He defeated LCW and I'm so disappointed. Is alright. Still I support him no matter what and i just could not stop myself being so moron. Screamed like there's nobody business! :D

PJF find for me chat again. Sharing all his problem with me. Besides of lending my ears to you, i have no idea what else i can do for you! LOL! There's no wrong or right either. Think wisely dude, cherished the one you love. Sometimes i know is very contradicting. Giving up the one you love the most and jump over to the other. But if your behave didn't fall on someone else. You never fell in others also right? For example, see saw. There's only 2 person sitting on the see saw. So when you go down, there's always someone to bring you back up.What if a 3rd party standing in the middle?

This person shall leave immediately.

814

2011-08-13T22:42:00.005+08:00

13/8/2011- Saturday

Been rot at home for two days. No why as i just feel like staying at home. Physically and mentally is tired, looks like a retarded after the war with those assignments! Bloody hell assignments cause me so so so stress! Hasn't reach to the end point yet. Another two more is coming real soon and i wanna hang up myself! Weekend gonna attend class from 9am-5pm. Life is becoming so hectic right?

I can be very sleepy at times but once i close my eyes, all sort of things pop out immediately. Yesterday saw a quote from twitter, " Have you ever had so many thoughts on your mind, but you just can't make them into words?" That was so true. Months ago, I used to share my thoughts to friends and my brother. As time goes by, I choose not to do so. People saying i'm so silly. Keep everything in heart and acting so emo. Is ok. I shall keep everything deep inside in my heart. Feeling real bad and I have no idea how to go through over it. Trying very hard and best of the best already. Especially when i'm in unconscious situation, I will cry out loud and bloated everything. So better not to let me drunk otherwise. I repeated the same thing on my birthday, 0804. I was drunk and hugging my friend cry like a bitch. Everyone was shocked and got frightened by me. I shall apologize though you guys may not noticed. Learning to smile, not to blame, not to care, think wisely and go ahead with my journey. Walking alone isn't fun. Ya right? Though is just a very short period of time, but I truly cherished and you draw a lot of happy smile on my face.

I never forget every scene between you and me. The first day we met at outside of my house. You yell out my full name "Tan SHook Ting" :) Day that we spent together and etc. So silly girl shall keep all these as memories into my box. It's lock. I just can't stop myself to open up the box and look through over it. Believe it or not, I'll smile alone silly. Actually the song that i fear of listen should be 终身美丽 not 屋顶 dumb! I shall stop blogging these cause I shedding tear while I'm typing. Can't stop crying silly girl. n!55w and I meant it

傻瓜

2011-08-12T17:53:00.006+08:00

12/8/2011- Friday

我突然很想写废话了，处了这里我真的想不到别的好方法发泄！其实也没什么惊讶的事情，只是自己想太多。很烦，很矛盾但也很不舍得！我真的很舍不得放手但我能怎样？明知这是一段不可能的感情。偏偏就是爱上了. 很难爱一个人，一旦爱上了..自己保重！想念一个人是很痛苦的事呀！是非常非常的苦。不过就算留到得人，它也会走。你的心，我捉不到。但我的呢，就一直都存在！碎了但还是有心跳。人就快要回国了，我不舍得!

我不想在哭，只好用微笑带过。勇气，你躲在那？开心，你走了吗？爱情，没了！

Little girl

2011-08-01T00:09:00.002+08:00

Dear July,

You making me so miserable. I just hope everything will be fine. No more nightmare, no more fear, no more tear. I'm tired with all these. I'm sure i can deal with it! For how long, i still don't know maybe some day :) Little girl will appreciate every little thing about you.

Dear August,

Give me a bright sunshine ok? Don't fail me.

Study break

2011-03-25T00:42:00.002+08:00

This week will be my most freaking relax week.. how i wish the study break could last longer and never back to the world of ASSIGNMENTS and EXAMINATION. Look through my timetable, it's exactly a month time to fight with the war. Guess i have brush up the notes asap! Okay, i need motivation!

When you're alone, do you wish someone can be your companion? This feeling is annoyed! :(
How do you do in S'pore?

读出我心声

2011-03-17T22:10:00.002+08:00

不愿忘记你，却也不想记起你

有许多事情，一旦开始就无法结束，

曾以为分离就意味着感情结束了，

曾以为就算一个人也能过得很好，

曾以为失去的只是一段不堪回首的爱情，

才知道，一段爱就是一辈子的事...

人的一生中或许会出现不止一段爱情，

但真的值得自己纪念的，

真正让自己无法释怀的，

真正无法去遗忘的感情，

往往都只有那么一段，

错过了，留下了遗憾，留下了回忆，

埋在心中，再找寻自己的幸福...

即使有一天我真的幸福了，

我依旧不会忘了你，

我爱你，但我不会和你在一起，

我想你，但我不会轻易想起你，

你是我的曾经，但我不是你的未来，

我爱你，但是我们注定不能在一起...

我不知道你心中还有没有我，

但一切都已经无所谓了，

哭过，伤过，等过，也懂了，

就算心中放不下你，

现实也会让我放下你，

就算我只想要你给的幸福，

但总有个人会替你给我幸福，

即使我爱你是一辈子的事情，

但我和你终究只有一阵子的姻缘...

我不想忘记你，却也不想记得你，

忘记你会痛苦，想起你会更痛苦，

就让你慢慢消失在我的脑海中吧，

不去刻意想你，却刻意去忘了你，

希望某天我们有缘再相逢时，

你会记得你的生命中有个人这样爱过你...

Was doing IT assignment, you know is very boring as just facing MICROSOFT WORD. Of course open some of other tab like Facebook, Twitter one right? :) Saw one of my friend posted this chinese notes and i read it. I don't usually read chinese notes, god-damn-long with small little tiny font size. Will blind la can!? Well, i can't deny this time i do like it. Every single word represent my thoughts, and spirit. I doesn't want to share it at Facebook "too public? OR maybe to prevent from other people asking me. Questions like.."Ehh, who u miss? still him ar?" If i answer No which mean I'd new target, what if i say Yes..then blah..........whatever la.. Why is it important? People often asked me why still in single? why why why? Because i hasn't meet my Mr.Right. Honestly, i just hate being hurt.

Today's class Art & Craft. Not bad though i got less confidence when doing my "recycle toy" . Overall still acceptable =] That's all for today..get to take shower and then continue with my bloody assignment! I need helper!!!!!!! boo

Hectic

2011-03-16T23:43:00.004+08:00

People often can't recognize after-my-makeup-face
is there a big difference? C'mon la, my panda eye look so horrible can?
I'm trying very hard not to sleep late,reminding myself sleep early sleep early!
Sadly, those evil thoughts automatically appear before im about get ready to sleep
Thinking a lots of crap, stress maybe? NO..definitely YES!
Piles of assignments are queuing up and when i saw my to-do-list, i wanna cryyyyyy!!
Other than that, i got my first assignment, damn myself so effing much
Got so fucking low mark that out of my expectation.
Blaming myself why doing so badly..really get very upset!
Class everyday, i almost dying of many problem
Something i doesn't want to voice it out, it's very privacy so just face it get through over it.
What's the big deal? i should bless that i owning so much stuffs
unlike people who suffering from disaster at Japan!
Recently heard of rumours about end of the world at 2012. Ehem, yes! i feel scare seriously
If it's really happen, I........will.........NO IDEA! Just close my eyes and say bye to this world
LOL!
Shouldn't be a negative thinker though

Gotta back to assignment!

I love this picture not because of the rose! No reason, no why =]

Break

2010-08-31T22:26:00.002+08:00

那天妈妈问我 "你中学毕业到现在,几年啦?"
我说 "两年啦..."

原来已经两年了..突然觉得时间过的很快
自己也发现自己走了两年..
对了,时间渐渐的过..人也会慢慢进步
但是有些事情依然停留在这里
是什么事? 不必题了..也不重要
他们活的开心就行了
我也应该寻找自己的快乐..真的希望上天能赐这一份礼物!
最近不是很开心..
就是感觉跟有些同事合作到不是很愉快..
要上课,要定时定侯交assignment,要安排教书的事情,应付小孩的家长,同事给压力,事绯,家里的事情,也要温书
真的求天也没有用
别人以为教小孩真的很容易..你真的以为只是教ABC吗??
要做个好老师是不容易..我也肯学的..
就当拿经验!
要努力,要奋斗才有成功
虽然是,但是有时候我也很累..
快乐的一天,你在那? 不要离那么远了,我没有方向感..

Back to english version
I have truckloads of work to do..Exam on Thursday till next Tuesday..wtf!
Seriously, i can't wait for holidays..i need a break so badly

Take A Break! :)

Short update

2010-08-08T18:59:00.002+08:00

Since i don't feel like sleeping yet so just let me blog a while and it is just once a while. LOL! FYI, i'm still working as a kindergarten teacher. I'd been get used to working BUT exam is coming. Just around the corner which is next month. How am i going to handle exam+hardcore assignment+working at the same time?? I'd been worrying since last week till now. sigh......I doesn't want to fall sick again!!! Coughing and sore throat is serious terrible sickness to me. Just because i consumed overload of medication, my menstruation goes wrong!

Oh yeah, i'm officially 19 now. I had a memorable birthday dinner with my dearest friends at Bubba Gump, Sunway Pyramid. Well, the food was ok =) And the most funny part when all the waitress and my friends sang birthday song to me. They requested me to stand on the chair..wth..i wore 3 inch plus heels so i forced to stand without my heels. I totally lost my direction yet happy till dead! =D My friends, thank you so much!!

Something is wrong with me, i know but nothing i can do. I just feel that life is such piece of shit!

Lifeisaboutwhat

2010-07-18T23:30:00.002+08:00

I don't know whether is that right or wrong but there is nothing is right nor wrong! Haa.. Crapping like so complicated. And so i decided to quit..NAH,not my course..i just want to spend some time on my studies rather than anything. I mean yes, experience is really important. As for now, i'm glad that the principle, teacher Ng, teacher Yap, teacher Sawi, Teacher Azlina taught me so much of thing. Honestly, i couldn't afford two thingy at the same time. I tried my real best and yea, i sick like nobody business now! wtf!! My lung gonna burst..i seriously hate of this feeling!!

On the other hand, am feeling so depressed of something. Something related to part of my life. I just don't know how to express it out by words..blame me blame me! Tell me what should i do.

i don't wanna be alone!!!

2010-07-07T22:58:00.002+08:00

I'm so so so so tired
every day and night is just working and studying
By the way,i have started my work since last Thursday and blink of eyes,it's already a week.
What i can gain from this week that is working is really terrible!!!!
My very first time of working and i hope everything will goes fine
BUT unfortunately, i feel so uneasy today
I just found that i can't really afford working+studying at the same time
My assignments are mess like don't know how
I can really put 100% attention on my working but hell no that i have to handle my studies. Ugrhhh!!!
Seriously,i'm worrying of that..what to do?
Can somebody talk to me? i need a listener so badly.. =(

AwH God, i dreamt of someone that i shouldn't dream of
I have no idea why but honestly,i don't feel like waking up from that dream
i want that to be real as it happen in my reality life.
You know i always do miss you
Not always maybe..IDK
Just sudden feeling only lah

我不知道

2010-06-14T23:36:00.001+08:00

在朋友那儿听说

知心的你曾回来过

想请他替我向你问候

只为了怕见了说不出口

你对以往的感触还多不多

曾让我心碎的你

我依然深爱着

在朋友那儿听说

知心的你曾找过我

我要他帮我对你隐瞒

只是怕见了面会更难过

我对以往的感触还那么多

曾给我幸福的你

我依然深深爱着

有一种想见不敢见的伤痛

有一种爱还埋藏在我心中

我只能把你放在我的心中

这一种想见不能见的伤痛

让我对你的思念越来越浓

我却只能把你把你放在我心中

对你的声音你的影你的手

我发誓说我没有忘记过

而关于你选择了现在的他

我只能说我有些难过

我也真心真意的等过

Short update

2010-06-02T00:54:00.002+08:00

Holidays ended and everything back to normal. As usual, attending class, assignment,presentation and lotsa of thing have to catch up! Oh yeah, did i mentioned about my results? I just got it today..*phew* Mad happy with it!! I know im not a happy girl but since i owned my day so i appreciated!

Life been so miserable nowadays and i have no idea why everything turns to upside down. I never even think of this thing would happened. Just because i don't voice it out but doesn't mean i don't care. But heyy, what's the point of bringing out the troubles since i know there is no conclusion. So ok, i just STFU! I have no regrets after all..

Am i that cruel? Am i? Everyone of us have different point of view, guess we grow older..thing changed!

Crap

2010-04-24T00:18:00.002+08:00

I couldn't estimate how perfect is this picture. Oh btw, i don't think it is
You won't know

After so long of struggling with assignments, I can like rest for 6-7 hours. Even though weekend is here, yet still get up and study for exam. Specially thanks to my dear kitty kitty "cat"! Really thanks for driving me to here and there..=D We have lotsa fun when come to craving for FOODS!But still blame you that spoil my diet plan..

I don't know where should I start or what to crap. As usual class for everyday, rushing assignments with classmates, joke, fool around. My examination will start at 26th of April whereas all my friends from other coll has finished their exam. Ewww,what a poor thing! Nevertheless, i still have to go through it as I can't wait for the holidays. I seriously need a break and take a rest. Assignments turn me into upside down as well as my spirit. All the pimples+dark eye circle+ulcer appeared. You know all these are horrible thing for a girl!

Yesterday was a bad day for me like obviously. Maybe or yes they think I'm too sensitive but im not a happy lucky girl. Trust,secure,confident..i don't have. Just leave it or whatever.

Booo

2010-04-14T23:32:00.007+08:00

I like the sunshine =)

Don't be afraid, i know the recently me is look so dumb, a bit clumsy or more!? Just thanks to my assignments. 4 is down, 1 more to go. Then examination! I really got no idea how am i go through it especially comes to Child Development. All about theory theory and theory..boring lah!! Nothing much to crap..just feel like drop by a little =)

Back!

2010-04-09T23:23:00.043+08:00

It's been a month that I never blog. Okay, I could not deny am lazy of blogging. I found that it takes me forever to think of proper sentence. What so hard? Seems like my blogging skill are getting rusty. Besides that, piles of assignment are queuing up since last months. Especially in this week, am totally exhausted and sick of assignment!! Examination are coming soon though =(

Well, this a post of Faye's Wong 19th birthday. Nothing much to babbler of as pictures do talking and yeah, we celebrated at Look Out Point @ Hulu Langat, Luna Bar! Babi, I don't know what to say...but but but...............

YOU'RE ALWAYS BABI FAYE!! =)

19/03/2010-Saturday

Faye invited us to her brother's wedding dinner but well, it seems like her wedding more! Basically all of us were "wee wung wung" and drank like nobody business. Who's fault? That will FAYE WONG'S fault. As all of us wanted she drunk so.. =) I personally enjoyed the night!

Unpredictable action

2010-03-13T00:30:00.006+08:00

All of a sudden, I feel so speechless,breathless!!

I seriously wanna declare everything clearly and nicely. Somehow, I choose to quieten myself instead of telling grandmother stories to everyone and let them put on judgement. We do learn from mistakes and of course, I've paid for very expensive fees since few years ago. Every step I move, I think for at least three times as great as many I could. I wouldn't cause myself into deep trouble but always there is problem come after next. It depends on how much it influence me as if it would cause me insomnia or whatsoever emo feeling haunted me! Well, I've been real calm though some unknown came across my line. Oh gosh, I never think of that fella are his friend. C'Mon jerk, you're no more a teenage. You should know what you must and mustn't do. Aren't you? You rephrase back what she said to me..Do you know how worst is that feeling? You should be thank to god that I never put a tight slap on your face. To me honest, you're my nobody as I could only recognize who are you but how is your personality, I am not interested. You pick up the most the most beautiful phrase which I hate to the maximum. Well done!!!

I doesn't wanna influence my brother to screw on you or whatever since you are his so-called friend. Either you apologize or anything, I don't care! I'm serious mother freaking mad on what I saw in all of your post!! I never think of these person would cause me into so deep trouble. Yeah, am depressed..HAPPY enough? Nevertheless, friends are appreciated! Losing friend is like end of the world. I hope you guys get what is this mean and think plainly before do of any "unpredictable" action. I doesn't want to hear or see unreasonable explain again. Hey guys, that is annoying!
I 'm not suppose to spill out something that I shouldn't say at this moment. I have the right to do so but I'm worry. Worrying of others rephrase my sentence and post it on their facebook or blog. Worrying of their "unpredictable action", worrying of their minded. I got no idea why must I have to care of their feeling and in the end, I was like the most disturbance person. Why must I have to worry? It's not my gutless problem. You guys cause me too much trouble and I don't need anyone to feel guilty about. At least, wake up yourself and not to repeat the same mistake again. Once incident happen is definitely cukup!
You know,behind of the story is always ugly somehow I think that it is pretty nice. I respect you so I will not want to declare over here. You figure it by your own . Yeah, I do admit I did hurt you but you never even calm down yourself and straight posted everything. You might pointed am self-interested but have my reasons besides family. We came from different background, you have your very sad moment so do I!! Never repeated the word of betray as it is a very sarcastic word. Sorry again, I don't want to explain for more.

Month of March is obviously a bad month for me, as always for every year!! Who cares you are fcuking upset? Life goes on..No pain no gain right?
All I have to do is grab back the mood for assingment and studies!! Uhh-huh...this is boring!!! FML!!!

Untitled

2010-03-06T00:12:00.005+08:00

Again, I have a sudden thoughts in my mind and I seriously want to blog it all at once. I don't know why?You might pointed me that I got influence easily but honestly, I knew how and what you are feeling right now. You don't need cry out loud to say I LOVE YOU nor I MISS YOU BADLY because I barely sense of everything. I knew how brokenhearted would be if your loves one yell at you that you're actually very annoyed! As usual, we girls will 10000% hate this guy forever and ever. But later on, whatever hatred or anger will slowly vanish without any notices Isn't it? Look through everything before you put on your judgement. See just at your own perspective does not seems to bring any benefit to anyone. You're a intelligent girl who always got flying color results and you just try your best to fate this away! Aim your goal, my dear! Trust me, maybe there is a chance to get back your relationship or else remain as friend for rest of the life.. IDK, I don't even dare to think of it. You know? My family isn't that pretty wonderful as what you thought. If you think that yes, you're absolutely wrong my dear!

To spill out ILY seems to be common thing to everyone particularly when guys are courting girls. Then why choose to voice out such word to a person who doesn't love you anymore? Thus, I will just put away or so-called buried my love and make sure do not dig it out. I failed for doing this more than 10 times perhaps. No doubt, the scar was stain indelible into my skin. I cannot removed it away as what I want . Okay, I admitted my hand is always that itchy,I know. For sometimes I'll just read back those papers, the messages, and etc lah.. But anyway, I'm still awake! Clever girl has deleted something from the phone as that is my privacy so I guess I have the right to do so and just leave me. A click of delete represent as what? Even my mind couldn't give me a complete answer.

今晚我觉得好心痛，但我却没掉眼泪

你读出我的心声所以我才想念它

选择沉默并不代表没感言

而是无言无语！

就算说了，又得到些什么？

对，原来以前真的出现那么多的误会

我现在才发现到.....

但也不再重要了！

自己做应该做的事就足够了！

P/S: I'm not emo-ing!

Tiger Year

2010-03-04T23:49:00.036+08:00

14/02/2010- Sunday

This year was the most special year for couples I guess that Valentine Day falls on the first day of Chinese New Year, Chor Yat! Well, that won't affect me as Imma single lady! In contrast, family should be my boyfriend though because I sticked to them for almost day and night! As I mentioned in the previous post, my CNY is superb duper boring that I don't enjoy at all!! For most of the time, I just slacked at my home only as my family has to work for every single day. I doesn't received any joyful of CNY since few years ago..What about the following year?

My Chor Yat spent at my dad's side relatives. We are all Teochew nang but sadly to say that, I doesn't know how to speak Teochew's language.. They won't gamble, no angpau but beer! o.0 I hate to be with them for some reasons. Whatever it is, that's my day!

My cousin brother

18/02/2010- Thursday

Ahh, you must be very curious what is this post about? People usually went to "bai nian" during Cny but we girls, wanted to be special a bit. So we bump to Karen's crib first and then Weng Fai's crib and we saw these......................[pictures below] !! It's been ages I saw him since last day of SPM examination, Geography paper! We act like kids and it was hilarious when we got the chance to feed the fishes. I seriously found it was fun!! =D

Though the weather was scorching, we were sweat like bathing. Besides that, Jin Yi and I are wearing heels. But at least we gets to learned more on fishes? LOL!

I forgot the name lah..

Tadpoles? NO..

He gained his weight..right? =)

Ni naughty Karen Yong wanted to trick Weng Fai..

Kinda scary though..Imagine if you accidentally drop inside?

Water splashing..haha..

This was the fun part where you feeds them

There are about 20,000 fishes in each big tong..

25/02/2010- Thursday

We been to this place for almost every year and included this year as well. I bet most you know about this temple so I don't need further give description on it right? It is located at Jenjarom and the destination took us for an hour. The decoration and environment was pretty nice compared to last year,Moo moo year. Although it was nice, but the weather is freaking hot plus those humans were pack like sardin! Ewwwwww......hot like chilies!

Evil snake in the house =S

Picture of the night!! =D

Busy like a bee

2010-02-25T01:42:00.005+08:00

Howdy peoplee!! As usual, am getting lazier with blogging as there are nothing much special thing to mark of. All that I have do for everyday which are go for class and back home stick my butt at chair to do assignments! Not only assignments and actually there are quite number of thing that I have to catch with..just like revision and researching. Oh I'm so in "love" with theories can?? Child development is the most horrible terrible subjects in this semester as again lots of theorist jump off with their own theory. And what? Sociology and Biology are included as well! I just try my real best not to repeat my mistakes again as my serious weaknesses are misinterpreted theories! =( Anyway, I owned 4 days holidays for this week but doesn't mean is a really happy thing. Still, I have to rush the assignments where the due dates are next week!!! I gonna rush like shitty and I can't imagine I'll look like what after this few days =.- I can't even sleep soundly due to the worrying..

Lots of blocks are blocking me again, I'm lost, I'm tired, I'm emo, I'm depressed , and that's why my tears bursting out. I cried but that is really fine! I know my life are always goes up and down. The higher I expect, the lower chance I got so that is why I'm hopeless. But nah, I take it as granted.

Whatever, cut the crap. How do you guys spend with your CNY? Mine is absolutely boring that I don't even enjoy a little. The reason is I got no where to go..most of the time I just slacked at home and waiting time to pass. Dad's side so-called relatives are bullshit. You guys won't know how self-interested are them. This will be long story and I shall cut it off. On the other hand, I knew dad is very upset with my brothers which I can't do anything yet mom are just trying to ignore about it. He can simply drunk himself and at the end spill out everything in front of so many relatives. I seriously wanted to dig a hole and hide inside forever, I couldn't accept this scandalous but anyhow he is only trying to share it out. I know I know...but can't you use a better way to express your thoughts? I cried for endless time and still the feeling was so darn helpless. You are all adults right so why don't you think for twice before do any of the action? No doubt, Imma a person who really cares of family real much and this is why I'm putting care on them. What to do? I have selfish brother!! Okie, off to sack now and will be continue next time! Public holiday tomorrow..*grins*

Goodnight peeps......

Twisting mind

2010-02-17T01:57:00.005+08:00

" Sometimes your mind doesn't want you to be in love, but deep
down, you know you are. "

There’s always gonna be that awkward moment where you walk by that person and remember all that you once had.

Memories remained but it's torture can?

Enough

2010-02-10T01:21:00.003+08:00

Did you get together with all these six emotion per day?

For me still so-so and acceptably

Emotion is one of the hardest thingy to catch with I guess as you may not control as in a pretty way. Especially a strong emotion like anger, and what? Sadness? Well,this always happen in yours truly. It's not that I want to be like a secretive person and overall, I don't feel it is fun. Okay lah, that's me! People who surrounding me will try to give advice..giving all kind of positive thinking but do they have the same thought too? If you have a friend, likely is a very best friend until you will just share out every thing to one another. Till then, argument occur and didn't contact for god-damn-long. Then appear all in a sudden as this person heard that you're in a superb bad situation eg: felo-de-se, sick or whatever. Pull you out from the mug and inject you positive injection everyday. How do you feel? I always remind myself be independent because rely on a person too much, you will know what will happen in sooner time. No matter how firm you are, still will got weak at some moment. I cannot..but I'm trying!

I just got hurt from a person which we been staying together for 18 years and 2 months. Don't ask me to obey him as he don't worth to have all these! I was wondering did he ever put a lil concern on me? Not even a little and yet he's a very egocentrism person. I really hope you will see what I have post so at least you know how damn over you are? His words are full with harsh and so critical which I can't digest anymore. I'm truly disappointed and got no more idea who to think of. Let me live in fantasy and continue with my dream.........

Live, Laugh, Life

2010-02-07T01:06:00.018+08:00

After so long of housecleaning, this is best damn time to blog . Otherwise there won't be any new post will appear in my blog. Btw, am exhausted to the maximum. I've got no idea why there are so many thingy have to cleanup just because of CNY! This is always our culture, CNY==> must be very superb clean. Clean is fineee, just the medication are spining my head right round right round especially drug of flu. OoHGawD, I can simply sleep like a fatty pig! A pathetic weekend =(

I-DON'T-LIKE!!

I'd been questioned myself that how long did I never step into a kindergarten!? It's 14 years and back to years ago, I'm still a little kid who know nothing about this reality world. Kind of sweet or ice-cream can simply brighten my day. Or even a STAR!! I meant when teachers mark on your work, they will put 1 or 2 stars to shows that your work is tidy and need. It's actually a consolation for a child thus far,this trend are still work on . I'm currently studying the subject, Observation & Assessment of Young Children which is a compulsory component of my course. Apparently observe kindergarten's environment is one of my task. So me and my partner,Joey did it on last Thursday. Both of us has been scratching all over our head but still couldn't figure out where we should go. Since she's working at a kindie, somewhere near her house which located at Serdang. Our final choice is there! Although it's a small kindie, yet the environment and the classroom was warm. As long as the children is feeling comfortable, who else will care about? Accept their parent! Apparently, Joey have to play the role back as a teacher to teach them whereas I, as the observer have to discover it. No doubt, working with them are effing fun because you will hear loud laughter from them and it's truly joyful unlike the human does. What I detest the most is they will got angry and pamper all of a sudden and cry out loud too! C'Mon, it exactly like a world war!! Somehow,taking care and understanding them isn't that easy as what I thought. Even just a child, you cannot simply interpret them or else they pointed you bias towards them. I wouldn't say it's hard but in what way it will be better? I gotta hit the books and got all into my mind. "Impossible!" ..And yeah,the lecturer of this subject is superb draggy. Monday class is always boring!!

It's PLAY TIME!
Hyper time will be at this time for children...

Taking turn..
1 by 1

If guys say we girls love to " eat vinegar", what to do?
We born to love vinegar since we're children
The Indian lil girl was jealous as I did not capture her a picture..
=P

She's too cute!!

Coloring time!!
Their favourite too..

Joey,my mei mei! LOL

They were fighting for hugsss!!

I personally like this =)

*wink*
Guess how old is her?

*Working alone is not a fun thingy
somehow, i don't wish to repeat again*
*Contradiction takes place!

I'm back

2010-02-03T22:59:00.001+08:00

As I promised that I'll blog often in the previous post, it's like I don't meant what I'd said. If you question me whether am I that busy? Yes, I am! Foremost, class are everyday accept Thursday but doesn't mean that I can fly like a bird. ECE classes are probably at afternoon time which is most crazy jamming hours in M'sia!! Secondly, I couldn't escape from assignments which I hate it so much. Gosh,due dates is right after my CNY holidays. My task is to finish up the 5 assignments and lots of theories have to memorize. Unlike what I think in previous that teaching a child is not 1 + 1 = 2. Thirdly, I have to be a very good girl "housegirl" as my dear mother fell down in few weeks ago. So she got the right order me to do this and that! I'm so sick with housework!! Cooking, washing, cleaning, drying or what-sO-ever thingy, I cannot reject..must nod my head. Tired lah~~Oh whenever I told her I'm tired,she will just put this shit away and began her bible again. Keep my mouth shut, there she say I showed her shit face. That's why I don't really agree women tend to be housewives. What's the century all about now? Maybe sooner or later there's a person change my mind or what IDK. Now and the following days, I got the freedom from control. Family is in different situation then as parent are my BOSS!

Can spare some time for me? I wanted to find a half day job since I'm free during morning time but something just blocked my way. Okay,let me settle all these down and I'll get a work soon. Am so desperate of $$$ la weih. Lacking of $$$ is more worst than any other thingy. I used up a lots of $$ recently and am penniless now. So much thing that I wish to hunt of and camera definitely is in my list. God bless me that the boss will get me a new 1..ehehe.. Guess this is more likely a dream. CNY is coming real soon but all I want is just angpaos. Ahhaa.. As usually, my family will be busy on working so every year of CNY are the same. For me, is kinda boring. Apparently,my holiday mood got ruined by my lovely assignments!!

Lay down on the bed and realized secondary life is so wonderful. All sorrowfulness in the past isnt't that bitter because life for now is getting tougher and tougher. Awwwww!!

No more virgin hair..LOL!

Captured by Mun

Ni babi Faye!! xD

It's been for god-damn-long we meet each other and yet we had lotsa of fun!

Anyway,I hope not to lost contact with them

they're spammers too!!

and

I gotta do my assignment now! =(

Watcha say

2010-01-24T18:21:00.004+08:00

"Picnik Show"

Create a free slideshow with Picnik!

I found that it takes me forever to post a short update in my blog. No doubt, I have no new post to shown up as I never hanging out with whoever or going some special vacation. Life goes pretty ok, no way to shout out I'm not fine. Just...going for school is effing not fun!! I'm repeating the same thing day by day but without a schedule, what the hell are we going to do? There's always been a contradiction in this case, so no comment... I must get use to this kind of life since I'll face it for almost everyday and at least I attempt on it. That's a pattern of life, HmM...

What I'm been doing everyday? Please do allow me sweep to next post. Perhaps I'll blog more often. I was feeling so crazy hyper on the past few days and even smiling when I'm sleeping. Trust me,it's real good feeling! Do remember a phrase "Sadness will always come after happiness" which told by a friend. Oh gosh, why is it so TRUE? I began trapped inside the hole and have lots of thoughts in my mind. This feeling was so complicated. FML! So we people, should we be happy?

Dream world

2010-01-17T23:35:00.005+08:00

KIM HYUN JOONG!!! =>

His smile are just too adorable

I don't usually believe on people being so perfection. All right, some are exceptional right? For this moment,he is the perfect one! And not to forget,Imma 3 minutes enthusiasm people so I might just like him for 3 minutes hot time. LOL.. Recently am so insane with korean drama and Boys Over Flowers definitely is my favorite choice. I know I'm outdated kay.. Nothing can relax me unless DRAMA!

Lastly, I gotta wish

Mr.Q Happy One Nine Birthday!

He is a crazy boy friend of mine and being neither good nor bad person

For me? So-so lah

Praise you too much not a good thingy or else you will feel too proud.. =D

Give a best wish to you which is be handsome all the while

I know you like this.. HahaH

Thank you so much when I'm in a hard time

This is real thank kay?

*SmOoochess*

Simply thought

2010-01-13T23:38:00.005+08:00

I've been getting use of not to blog often..That's not-so-good thingy but what to do? My mind is blank like a piece of A4 paper. Everything begins tardily and I'm trying my real best to catch up with what am studying for now. No more regret, and hope so no more got influenced by others. Lovely holidays officially ended and I ought to college life again. It's again! A new beginning, new classmates, new environment and new course DECE -Early Childhood. Assignments are queuing up as well. These are the annoying thingy for a student. Lecturers wouldn't give you a damn if you did not completed their work. Who cares you have admitted to hospital? And thank to my honour God all right, I just have four days class per week as am taking four subjects for this semester. That is effing enough!

Nothing are better sticking with your family and dine with all together in dining table, seeing each other starving face, shared out what's happening in our daily, talking crap, and the most funny part comes to my 2 brothers and mom. They always spoke broken chinese which makes us laugh like moron!!　“ 我的华语很流利的“ ..*thumbsup*

But we human are imperfect. I wouldn't say they are irritating. But there's some moment I need a break which I think ..I decided something,so let me go ahead. Hold me tightly doesn't shows as love me. Hence, I will even try to debate and yeah, argument always be after that. Their thoughts are full of negativeeee!! I'm so speechless. Well, I don't agree youngest are the best. You got no right to speak when the adults are doing wrong thingy but you actually know what goes wrong!! They will defend back and you shut up. If I,the youngest daughter did something which they think is improper, they will shoot me fly up to the sky. I knew everything about this family, they don't know mine! I seriously want to have a talk with one of my bro. Ever since he left M'sia, I'd get use of without his appearance. Or you might forgotten you actually have a sis. I have the only dad and mom. They are placing the only hope on me. I'm not pointed the brothers are useless,no I'm not! To certain extent, .....I'm not going to explain much here. Family issues are unsolvable and still they are unforgivable.

I maybe need someone to be my counselor? I think life for now is pretty ok.. My position are always in side corner, I wanted to move to middle. Maybe someday =) Oh yeah, I have urge to meet my dearest ex-Surians! I don't wish this will be a dream lah! IDK why, miss them truckloadsss~!! This is not a lie, never! But I'm sure each of them are busy fussy working hard for their life too.

These pictures are taken since.....eheh.. It was our New Year Eve night. We miss the chance of watching fireworks which I wanted to see it so badly. Nevertheless, we went to few places and I got no idea why? Dined at Look Out Point, headed to Leisure and slacked at Chin Hui's crib for half an hour then at last had drink at Riverside, Heritage.

3 whity =)

The couple

She doesn't support alcoholic drink so her choice, Chocolate drink =D

LOL

Actually she's not joining us but..... surprise for her! xD

Cheersss~ 2010!!

咩事? haha

你又咩事？=D

Ma Zi

2010-01-04T23:56:00.014+08:00

First of all, I would like to greet everyone upon Happy 2010 ! Watcha you guys are doing? I bet everyone of you had started school and everything. As for me, I couldn't escape from it though..Despite how I don't wish to. Ohh Ohh, I shouldn't made a complain first as it's not the right time nor in right post.

It's all about my beloved MAMA! Now and forever she will be number ONE person no matter like end of the world or what . Not to say a word forever just for her but there's some exceptional of course. Even she's the one who always mumble me until I cannot bear with it..Yelled my name "Ah Tingggggg" where she always want me to turn on TV for her. Occasionally, she used to grumbled me whenever she's not in a good mood because she never will not showing her anger to my 3 dearies brothers and daddy yet is me! How pathetic?

NO LAH

There is always lots of stories we can talk about and this is part of it but one thingy I cannot deny it..She do love me! You wouldn't know how much this mother sacrifice for her daughter. Everyone will usually questioned me when they saw her, "Is this your grandma?" Ah-haa..I did not know I've got such young grandparents. 4th of January which is the Mama's big day. Today is simply special day as for my Baba,Mama and me!

Again, small celebration for my mama and I know she is happy with what we did for her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

With love,

Rainey

2009..SHOO!

2009-12-31T12:24:00.008+08:00

My favourite past tense

I know I know, this gonna be the last post of 2009 and I seriously can't wait to welcome the year of TWO ZERO ONE ZERO. Things been run ups and downs all over this year and I fully grown to experienced what's life about, I meant real tough life without any helper. I berry remembered how did I spent my glamorous New Year Eve which together with the bunch of my chums at Nico's crib. We were invited by the birthday girl and so me and Sue went to Leisure due to some reason if I'm not mistaken? Oh yah, because we got no transport on that time..Still 17 mah! So JinFai picked us up. Fishy has went into National Service on the 27th December so she couldn't joined us. There we countdown at Nico's crib and time strike to 12, I do make a wish! But hell yeah, wish never come true and I got a so hard year!!

A girl who completely her secondary life and stepped out to the reality world. At first I felt that's great as I don't need stay in jail anymore what I mean is no more school rules, all kind of dicipline and demerit point. But I start to realized, college life isn't that comfortably as what I thought in previous. Throughout this 345 days, am so deadened which I got into so much of troublesome . Let's count how many hours I've been racked? At least for 8760 hours..Yes,it's true. Started my college at Taylors in March and study study study like shitty everyday. Lack of sleeping,stressful life,nightmares..Somebody please define stress to me and you will know how I feel. That's totally gruesome which I can't take it anymore until I decided to withdraw. Did anyone of you have done any mistakes in your life? Tell me.. I did a big ever mistakes in this case and okay, I have my own reasons too.

Besides studies and what else? All right, lovesick..Many different kind of people who were just walk in to my life, teach me a lesson and then wave their hands to say BYE to me. I don't really give a damn to them because they are nobody to me so I guess that's part of the chapter in my story book. I used to love a person truly deeply madly, being a silly girl for god-damn-long. For once a lie consist, everything broken. Tears wash face every day and night..Lovesick are killing me as well and so I'm fine! Girl wants love but not now.

So then,what's next? I owned the very first horror experienced, car accident! Ewww!! Well,the car still repairing..sighhh!! Meanwhile, I gotta say zillion thank you to my beloved girls and babis. They brighten my smile and willing tend to lend their ear to me whenever I need them. I know my grandmother stories are too boring to you girls..*hugs* You girls are amazing as like my angels. Besides that, I gotta reply piles of essay to my darling for every 2 times per week. You know what it is? Loads of gossips, sharing, daily happening and etc. Blogging about all these are not easy as fill in the blank in a sentence. You won't know but I have to a take a lots of courage to say it. Life is sucks to me now but still goes on because time will not stop for us. Coming to the end of the year, I'm going to put a BIG full stop to 2 0 0 9 and thanks for the hard time. Fate me away and get off.

Lastly, Happy New Year!! =>

X'mas Eve

2009-12-31T12:08:00.020+08:00

Imma late blogger and this shows how sluggish am I, ehh NO! These pictures are effing hard to get as I gotta download 1 by 1 all from the hotmail that attached by my moi. And yet I needed to upload again 1 by 1 up to blogspot..Uh-huh, stop babbled out then. As I mentioned in the previous post, me and the besties never made up with a superb nice plan for X'mas but that's fine. We simply pick a place, Sunway! LOL..

Planned for movie on that day but failed as we saw numerous of ants. Shop around in the mall and something came across our mind..

Suh said :"It's time to update our neoprint lah"

..Oook,GIA..

We took neoprint for twice and 4 of us were sweat like nobody business. We were like fighting against with the war as it's real HOT with the beauty X'mas red hat. So we just can't stop to laughing at each other. Overall, it's fun though!

I personally like this! =>

IDK, I found that my ah moi is funny in this pic! Haa

Ding Dong Bell

2009-12-25T13:18:00.004+08:00

It's Christmas peeeoplesss! In fact that everyone know about it so what's cha guys doing!? As I'm here wishing everyone are doing pretty well. Well, I didn't want anything special for this X'mas and never out for countdown as I'm kind of lazy girl to pack with humans like sandwiches! So me and the besties decided dined at somewhere else. Will update more about that. I constantly hope Santa would appear right in front of me and gimme loads of X'mas gifts but is impossible,I know as somebody noted that's kid minded. What-ever! So I turned to a Santa this year..eheh..Hopefully the parent like it.

Oh btw,I'm sick like sick cat now..My throat is killing me. Santa did not bless me :( Guess he's too busy. Once again, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Nice one..

Hi? Hello? Hey?Holla?

2009-12-24T01:10:00.004+08:00

Will you ever think of putting down the mask and great H-E-L-L-O?

I smell of dust that surrounding my blog..So I got no idea what to do to upgrade it? As usual,it's middle of the night now which is best damn time of crapping but wait, I'm not emo this time so please gimme me some credit. I just feel so great all of a sudden..IDK-IDON'TKNOW why. Effing rare that I'll be like this but one thingy still remain the same. Again, I couldn't sleep..Eww!! I feel serious boring of mentioning zillion of times that I'm still facing insomnia.

Actually...

Honestly....

I don't need that..

Truth is always uglyyy..But anyhow,I rather to know the truth better than lies

Even is hurtful..I got to go through all by myself.

Life is just a bit of happiness.

I'm happy in just a minutes and not for now..

Some words are too harsh for me.

Do you realised? NO, you don't

The way I am

2009-12-16T11:52:00.002+08:00

They say people have their ways
And people stay the same
Accept the way it is
Accept that things don't change
Some people make it worse
Some people don't want to listen
In the end it all works out
In the end, they learn their lesson
What if I do nothing?
What if I just turn my back on you?
If I say nothing
What if I just walk away from you?
Walk away I could never walk away from you
They say people have their ways
And people stay the same
Accept the way it is
I know that I can change

So Blue!

2009-12-13T12:31:00.008+08:00

After so many hours of headache, am completely exhausted! You know what? Headache is hell disturb..as if you're overstretching your muscles! It is so awful. Has got tortured since last night until this afternoon so likely,I couldn't fall a pretty slumber. Or I should state in proper way..I don't usually SLEEP! This is so gaga to a 18 teenage girl. I always do hope I could sleep soundly without dreaming and it's pretty hard! Dreaming is like turned to be part of my life! No matter how stressful,and tiresome I am, I still can't runaway from dreaming! Stress is even kills me faster that I'll awaken at least for 2 or 3 times. Now is even more worst that I had nightmare straight in a row which makes me into terrible ill! I can feel my heart beating very fast and tears surely rolling down from my sleepy eye!

So many thoughts in my mind right now.. Imagine a girl who scare of nighttime just because worry so much of how to sleep? How silly it is? I know continually behaving like this is very bad to health and am started to feel my health deteriorating included the mental as well. Why choose me? Why keeps blocked my way? Frankly, 2009 definitely is not a good year to me. I wholly change my behaviour, I did something hurt myself which I feel so embarrassed! I couldn't accept this as a fact and so I got no way to speak it loud I'm ok! I hardly trust a person now..don't blame me!! Of course friends and family gave me lots of support and hold me tightly. I have to apologize here because I've disappointed u guys again. For certain people, they interpret thingy differently,they will see their sunlight in the darkness just I'm the unlucky one. Am so low-spirited for this few months..No way to sense my feeling! I never admit I'm weak because on certain occasions, these uneasy thingy pushed me to be more alert. I can cry easily but this is human emotion can? I'm so wish to have a shoulder let me lay on. What's so hard to find a right one? Am I the one who got no gut to lay on or still holding the past tense? It doesn't matter actually..I can't do anything! Just wait for the right time..

Rainy season seemed to gone and I saw a bright sun today. This is not the exact of my sunlight. Whether it's shine on you or not, just depends on yourself. I just want a great sunlight which made me sweat like a moron bitch and a cup of tasty tea! Waitme!! There surely will be a day I blog with a smiley face. What I meant is real happy.

The headache is back to me..I should off from my blog now!

Memorable 712

2009-12-11T22:56:00.016+08:00

7.12.2009- Monday

I can't believe that I never been to 1 Utama for...a year? Or even more than so yeah, we decided bump to there! And I remembered I was not in a mood on that day..Everything happen sure have it's reason and the funniest ever thingy I had, I don't-know-why! Haa.. I feel yell out loud and just wanted throw off something worthless to me but hey, it's impossible. So what's better than shopping in the mall? =D I just simply crazy in love with it till I got no way to stop myself. I don't care!!! That's part of our girls life. Aren't we? Since I can't get what I want...Why don't I used this way of life to satisfy myself? Anyway, am gratified what I got recently..The mother truly fullfilled sponsored me a lotss! Nevertheless, I still hope to travel somewhere where they can't work it out. Because business is more more important to them than ever ..This is a really sad case.

So X'mas is Ding Dong-ing as everyone must be planning what to do and where to celebrate about on this elegant night! To be very honest, I got no plan..not a joke kay..So any suggestion? =) I do hope Santa reads my mind..

I'm not greedy, Santa

WHITE CHRISTMAS

I entirely fall in love with White Christmas
=DD

Holy Moly, eye bag and dark eye circles are getting serious
sigH, insomnia killing me

My number ONE MA ZI! c=

She?? Number last Ah Lian xD~
Jk

Curi tengok someone..=P

Piggy look is always our number one post.. TeeHee

Have a nice day peep!

Genting freaks

2009-12-05T15:51:00.036+08:00

Am back from week time and it's time to bring up a post to my blog! The circle of year 2009 is approaching December so called is going to end soooonn!! Very soon..and I have a desire for Christmas! Do you? I want a miracle.. But wait, the percentage of getting "my miracle" is 0.0001% SO since it will never happen so I just wish for pretty and graceful night =)

Back to this post as it's all about Genting.. I'd been there for 12345 times in 2 weeks! Omigosh, sounds crazy and that's right! Casino is my parent addiction..as always! So I wish they won't drag me to there anymore because they will stayed in there while their son and daughter do nothing out there. Due to rainy season, Genting is crazyfathermother cold till I'm all the while shivering. Anyway, I comprehend human can't runaway from gambling but still, do catch up your limitation. I'm not so into this kind of game..

Nothing else we can do accept taking pictures! 100++ we took but I just randomly pick out some..

Ah Lian & Ah Tian =P

Men without head!

Went to their concert and I gave credits to Andy Hui..I never knew that he's that tremendous!

His vocal is superb sexy..LOL!

He's a man =)

Craving for muffins <3>

Camera shy la

I like his smile =D

Big big tummy

Phobia

2009-11-27T22:13:00.005+08:00

So many thingy yet dying to say..
I just feel not secure with what I'm having now
I get something that I want but sooner or later,I gotta return back
I hope,I wish, but they foiled me down
Loads of block over here which I fell down again and again
I'm fatigue to put on plaster at my scar so leave it
If you're testing me, please let me go across! I can't take it anymore

Gosh,it's very annoying to repeat the same thing but what to do?
My life been so dull lately..nothing much to crap on
Aimless wandering from day to day..
I was hundred percent sure that I'm still not in satisfactory condition yet
So which mean I got zero confident move up my new step
1 more month to go..Urghhhh!!! Can I have any other suggestion?
Sometimes I rather stay back in high school and let teacherS or cikgu mumble..we just need to adopt what they planned for us

I'm so scare of darkness now..truly holy shit when get to alone
Feel real horrible!
Even the lovely dad is beside, still NOT SECURE!
Was wondering whether when does this feeling gone?
Foremost, lack of sleep is sort of torturing..I agree! Ever since this bad feeling haunted me, I feel this is more worst!

Loads of pics gotta upload..but am lazy!
Stay a lil tune

The strike

2009-11-23T19:01:00.012+08:00

I feel serious bad when I saw this!! =(

21/11/2009- Saturday

I don't know where to start and what to talk about but seriously, it's not a joke! My very first time gave to a big asshole motortruck! I'm not blaming or what..still I have to own up my responsible in this accident.

I woke up pretty early on that day as I gotta pick up Fishy to hospital which located at Subang..but unfortunately I went to wrong way so I called Faye to be my guidance and I was like ..Ooh,thAnk God I know where is it! Drove to right direction and there comes a roundabout [SS15] which I gotta turn into there. I saw that asshole stop aside..and guess he wanted to turn to the opposite way. Do u know how huge is that truck? Very obvious, I had highlighted him that I got to go my way. He's blind or whatever Idon'tknow!! And yes, I shouldn't make that decision to turn.. SIGH!! Due that's a big truck..I got hit 99! The first hit is fine..then because of the impact of the strike, I gets up to the divider and hit to light pole. Thing like that just happened within 1 second, not even more than that! I can't imagine if there's no any other pole.. Just 1 second and that's enough to make you scare like shitty asshole!

My spirit was wholly gone..never know what to do accept look at with fixed eyes until the traffic police asked us to get off from car! I'm tearless but doesn't mean is OK. And I really learn something new over here, HUMAN like them will never tend to lend their hand to you. Moreover, they will just see see see and seeee..until fathermother jam! That's what we named as SATU MALAYSIA! One of the black bloke showed me his thumbsup..I feel like drive a big truck and bang him 99.999 *if can*.. Went over to police station to make a report and meet up Sarjan Roslan.. "Nanti beli nombor Empat Ekor tau? lepas kena boleh beli lagi kereta baru"
Well,what do you expect me to answer when you're in frigging low spirited? There he says "Kamu boleh duduk di bilik sini cakap cakap dengan saya..saya tak ada kawan ni..sangat boring! ahah.." A joke? Seems not funny!

Supposed everything are pretty nice..sigh! I'd double FK my groups of chums..and thanks to few of them came over.
I finally realised how horror accident is..that scene still flowing over my mind that cause me couldn't get in sleep. For every time I close my eyes, it will hunt me. Never think that an airbag is able to safe you..that's stupid silly thinking! 1 or 2 seconds can change your lifetime. So peeps, please drive safe! So I gain my first experience..Real expensive fees I paid!

Pretend is really enough..very superb tired! If the bad luck are still hiding behind me, burst it all at once as soon as possible. Curse till I die or what-so-ever..I don't even know and how to cope with it. I'm standing all alone and he's happily everyday!

2 in 1

2009-11-18T00:07:00.011+08:00

Happy Birthday..

Dude,u always say I look =( ..come with a bun smile =.="

It was last last week post..Again,I'm late! A pretty Wednesday that everything goes smoothly..Headed to Tarc college with the besties then moved to Timesquare and bump into Low Yat! We used an hour for searching a right person to unlock her new phone. Not to forget that it was Lim Wai Weng@ Turtle's birthday!! Since their classmates included Sue had a celebration at Pavilion so we got the right to wish him a birthday!

It's very wrong to go somewhere without vehicle..and I swear not to repeat this mistakes ever!!! NO CAR, NO KL!

Life is incredible..No one could predict what happen next and of course I doesn't have the ability to do so. If I do, I'll never gain such joyful, sorrow... Everything are fair, I believe! I lost but found them. Because of you you you and youuu..I appreciate them more than ever! I'm tired of guessing how is my luck will be for the following days.. I just know I owned two precious! Honestly, I got nothing now..is totally empty like you can't even see anything in my heart. The only thing I could cherish in this moment that will be both of them..Now and until the day I stop inhaling,my heart stop beating. THANK YOU! *a big hug*

And yah, I shall stop tasting different kind of tea..I sense it's tasteless. I usually drink green and rose tea. Maybe another kind? I smell of the old tea bag..it's stink! Grhh...

P/S : Hopefully u're all right..get through all these and stand up! Ah Shook will always support u =)

3.27am

2009-11-12T02:07:00.004+08:00

It's middle of the night, and i really love to blog at this time
The night is still young but I'll be an old folk if continually never sleep before 1

Was reading a mail who sent from some1
2 simple words
I cried
So sorry that I have to sweep to next time to reply
Tears dropping like the water fall without any sound
It's not what so big news in the world just because the sillygirl is thinking back of sillythings
Sillygirl has got threw all rusted memories into the big sea
Whether it's sink or not..she herself not sure yet
So is she great?
I just found that NO
I n-e-v-e-r wish dig it out but sometimes a word or somewhere places can simply bring back to loads of memories
I'll just remind myself on and on for led to a better life
They gave me zillions of surprise which is so dramatic
I knew they were my starter..and so I'm not ready out to social yet
Terrible tau?
Anyway,today is 1112 and few more days will be 1116..sigh!
Okay, I crap loads of shity
I just hate to be in this way..

She wanted try to taste of tea But yet he says water is chilling, tastes and sweet..

She effing happy and drinking right now!

Goodbye

2009-11-10T00:54:00.019+08:00

A year ago, or maybe I forgot when was it..she told me that she going to leave M'sia and back to her USA and i was like....I bet u're joking! I never take it as serious and now u're already staying on there. The feeling was .....just words can't be helpful this time..Unable trace out what i wanna to say.. I couldn't count how many miles that we are faraway, but guess u'll get to love with your new environment! I know is already different from past time..thingy slowly changed that we human still have force to accept. Some memory might broke into pieces yet I glued it. So many words to say yet just Goodbye and Take Care. What-so0-ever is it, thank you for every lil thing,my friend!

Laughter,tears,heart-to-heart talk,caring, angument, I cherished

I berry remembered how we met..
When i'm Form 3,in Block C and u asked me..
"y is she crying?"

HUH? u ask me, i ask who?

Then
The first day reopen school in year 2007, we students assembled in Block C and questioning each other "Ehh,u same class with who who who??"
We checked upon the class list, we found out Beatrice Chung in Senior 4 Charity

I was like..OMG! How come 1 ar? Sccaary la..
It's funny, I know

When the first call that I received from her..

"Can I ask u a question?"

As usual I answered ok with weird feeling
Er..Oo o k..

"I feel that u love him..is it?"

o.O"""

Another day
The school bell rang, we packed our stuffs and got ready back
She stopped me and asked..

"Can u be my sis?"

I asked W-H-Y

"Because sounds more closer ma"

Okay, stopped here..
and that's how I knew her!
I don't think you remember all these?

Active us

2009-11-08T02:38:00.024+08:00

31.10.2009 - Saturday

You will never know how bravo are we that had defeated the big problem on that day! At long last, 5 of us successfully ON the....picnic! ehehe.. No1 ffk this time!!! So what's the trouble that I'd mentioned in the first sentence? I woke up at 5 in the morning due gotta cooked the food that need to be prepared. Apparently, I owned just for 4 hours of slumbering which was effing crazy tired! You know lah, insomnia is like that...o.0"

And I realised it was raining....a big sigh!! All of us were preparing our food then the organizer, Shi Kian came to picked me up. We went to Bukit Jalil's park where the place we usually gather together for jogging. My dearly god handed rain to us and we were like ..How how how? That's not a big deal so walked for god-damn-long to find a shelter. It's not a problem to walk but with a heavy carry bag plus with the rain and my sleepiness.. another sigh again! As yet it was raining, the uncles and aunties still went for early jog. I simply proud of them.. We searched and searched..seeking a better place for us to settle down..Finally, we found! All of us were starving like nobody business so had our early fresh breakfast over there. Of course we wouldn't miss the chance of camwhore but to be honest, I doesn't like my morning face! =P

After breakfast, everyone was like ..recharge full battery! Dance around, joke, crapping and they even feed up the birds and ants. Even is really tiring, somehow we pretty enjoyed! Okay, we ended at 10am. The 2 besties came over my crib..slacked here and there till evening! That's my pretty Saturday!

Pity her =P

Carrying+walking+searching+raining and that uncle was jogging as well!

The fooooood..
It's simple but what do you request us to cook early in the morning huh?

What I cooked was.. <3 style="text-align: center;">

The umbrella peeps ..included transparent 1..

Specially editing for my darling Sue..hahahaha..
Love it k?
HappyHalloween!

Post 1, 2, 5..cheers! =)

Our Halloween day.. =D

P/S: To Fishy, Sue : Nah, I blog already..=P

Untitled post

2009-11-05T01:22:00.001+08:00

Ouch, hurt!

Jayden big day!

2009-11-01T20:26:00.033+08:00

King of the world!? lol

Balloon ...pretty nice to me =)

I heart Pooh bear loadss!! ♥

ADD ON PICTURES!

15/10/2009- Thursday

I'm being more n more sluggish to update my blog. It's like harder than doing an essay!? Things happened on me is kinda bad so have no free energy to blabber about it. Just feel pointless to keep nag here and there. I just realised it's already November.. so which mean 2 more months then 2009 gone! Am I dreaming!? I think of my high school days and it was like happen on yesterday. 61 days is like 61 minutes so catch the time.

Okay,this was the last last last week event. Supposed to be in October post but yeah I drag it to here.. is better to say it was last last last year post =P It's my beloved Jayden big day!! He's so adorable to me. I heart him to the maximum because a baby doesn't say lie. No cheat no lie, with true smile but still is a naughty baby in the house! 1st year celebration of birthday so have much reason to organized a party. We had our dinner at Xi Loi Tang which located in Serdang. Everyone looked cheerful and high spirited. Well, it's no right to show your lame face to others whether u're blue mood or dispirited..! Is like a party but we enjoyed to drink more than celebrate birthday.

Daddy, brothers and I gone tipsy on that night. We did enjoyed that night especially with the 3 brothers. Crap, yell, joke,sing..all of them were gone mad! As for me, is in complicated feeling. Imma very insane person when I'm drunk..serious! HAHA.. The night ended and slept at 6am! I totally forgot what I crap in MSN's Pm and Twitter!

Oh btw, thank you Mr.Q!

Before

This is best ever funny picture on that night..spot on what's he doing on Jayden!
*ahem*
Oh poor Jay, he feel pain..
I really can't stop myself not to laugh.....=D

Pig head!

Tasting shark fin

Aww,cutie!

The small family

Jayden never smile on that night :S

She's cute! Jayden's cousin sis

What is he doing =.=

He's superb mad person! LOL

Four of us =)

Joyfully~

Take 3 *peace*

Have no idea why is Mr.Jayden is not cooperate with us!?

Tan's family!

Huh?

What a mess?

Stay strong, girl

2009-10-28T14:39:00.009+08:00

Today is not a pretty Wednesday..I'm sick like a sick cat..just keep sneezeeeee!! On the other hand, out there is raining cats and dogs. As in this situation, I dont even wanna step out of the house accept for yesterday! I really had a nice day with the 3 funny gentle blokes. It's been so long since I laugh like a mad chick but I knew it wouldn't last long. So I shall say thanks to KH, Eric, and PerryTan!! =D How I wish everyday is a happy happy day!? Anyhow, it's a very silly thinking.

Apparently, I'm still very sick. Sick of insomnia, flu, and some other personal reasons. But one thing is very funny that I'll act like be very ok in front of human. So what's going on now? Or u might think I'm expert of acting. Everything happened and there's a reason lay back. U have to depends on yourself. Can I? I really really really *in a serious tone* needs a therapy to cure my sickness! My mind is darn frigging heavy that cause me couldn't sleep. Oh well, did i mention that I never sleep for yesterday night? =(

Let's see how's my tomorrow will be?

Oh yea, gotta stop here and reply my darling's mail

Where's my cup of tea?

I prefer pure water rather than coffee, coke, ice lemon tea or ice lychee! LOL...

I'm free

2009-10-23T18:49:00.009+08:00

I know I've been so doomed lately. Just like this rainy seasons..Tears are alike the rain falls at anytime, anyplace! No matter how I spill out, no1 could comprehend what's myself thinking about. Maybe this is what we known as self secrecy. Tell me who's the most important person in your life? I barely can find a very superb brilliant person. Because am just 18 so there's still a long way to go.

One of the hardest thing I facing in this year is not love or whatsoever. Stress is holding me tightly for this 7 months. I couldn't breathe, eat, sleep, think, talk, laugh [there's some exceptional sometime] . Is not fun at all..not a easy mountain to climb on. I finally knew what's S.T.R.E.S.S meant! And now, a big question here..what to do next? I'm searching for the answer for my own as well! CAL is totally covered up my mental n physical..was not in a control and that's y..EheM! Friends and family did screw me up! What do u expect me to describe it to u guys? I just wanna take a period of time to rest. I either can choose to continue to live or give up. I continue my life, choose next journey to go!! I appreciate and cherish every words what u guys gave to me! Btw, I miss my babi girls darn much!!

I seriously hate this year to the maximum! It's not a good good year for me..my luck been so so so so freaking bad! I decided to stop to wait and believing. I did not find any briliant person but so far, I found some special person. Since human will only look forward, then I make up my mind and placed them in the backwards of my heart. Human just will look the outlook of u. They wouldn't comfort u like a 3 years old kid. Never ever put these kind of hope on human! He's in my backwards of my heart now while another she will far away from me!

Some feeling asked me to say byebye to blogger. Shall I? NO..YES?? I hardly remembered one of the reason why I wanted to blog. *as because of the special person??* But I've buried him in somewhere..Sounds evil? **grins** The feeling was gone since don't when.. If u're happy then is enough! I bet u're enjoying too..

Will u feel depressed for every second, minute, and hour? It's incredible if life is like this. What if i say "Yeah, I'm like this!" Some exceptional for sometime..well, my little Jayden!! He's my baby boyfriend now..Have u ever seen a boyfriend will just laugh, cry, crazy in playing on toys? Girls will surrender if they're like that..LOL! She smile because of a 13 months baby. That's the reason!

世界有咁大你又点玩嗮?

2009-10-16T18:40:00.003+08:00

这个世界有咁大你又点玩嗮
转数唔快会淘汰冇人想出界
就一早玩晒
喂当你一铺输嗮
再转换心态已见惯不怪
眼看世界有咁坏过百样丑态
有怪莫怪我唔快爱慢游世界
我一般心态就算未睇得通嗮
确定冇扭軚就冇人会怪

试下用心感受呢个世界
原来过程系生活必须要接受噶洗礼
有回忆回味系种美丽 life goes on
我哋系实验室里面游离浪荡
玩紧实验验紧 right or wrong
发誓誓言究竟weak or strong
有可能系食言唔系食盐食错乱讲
这个实验证实失败唔需要失眠
因为呢个世界有咁多谜题有问题
解极都系解唔嗮 all right
摆低所有希望 oh my
遗忘自己仲有愿望但系冇乜所谓
依然可以继续慢游另一个世界
睇你点睇 juz laid back

人一世物一世
冇人会想成世困系自己困扰噶生活问题
但系现实有几多对手可以将佢击败
失败又边个可以重新再嚟
边个唔想发达兼发围
唔想挨又有冇咁多优惠
涯极得个吉有冇可能冇乜所谓
通常问题究竟系咪人为
有人太过收埋太过自闭系咪压力太大
谂得太坏有D弊
又赖社会噶问题
问题发生又总有两睇你又点睇
我系冇米暂时未能环游世界
但系我有音乐让我慢游愉快
唔怕淘汰唔怕金融海啸难题
净系怕你猛咁催我叫我快
我系出于污泥但冇谂过做堆烂泥
我只不过选择慢游呢个世界
每个人都有权选择要企乜嘢位
一铺惯低有几多个可以企番上嚟
我冇谂过要威又怕乜衰俾人睇
由得我哋自由发挥
机会哪怕行唔出嚟
系快定系慢我谂冇乜所谓

我讨厌想改变
我想知道D人几时喊完笑完
和平离我几远日后会点
我相信冇人真系识预言
但系对于将来都冇谂过想点
唔好教我做人你我唔同观点
唔同世界真系无乜所谓
慢游真系几舒服盏鬼

Currently, my addiction!
Manhand, a band from Malaysia..*rocks*!

RIP?

2009-10-13T16:27:00.005+08:00

I need a hug so badly.. :(

Pictures tell everything as it's a visual representation of an object or person or scene produced on a surface
But doesn't make out what my inner feeling
It might just an illusion..who knows?
Troublesome for the family is too over so I shall not sharing with them
Recently,i love to stay at home..dislike reveal to public
Nor going to anywhere which is pack of humans
I'm a freak ,yeah..that's right!
So leave me alone for......546579965 days!?
I've been went through so much difficulties but I knock down my head this time
I know it's not end of the world yet..for me,going end soon
Thought of never awake again, because I deserved what I did to myself
Thank god, dad woke me up!
Cut short my words, billion of thanks to my dearest friends
U know i won't explain that much now..
Have fun everyone..enjoy and appreciate with what u have!

Last but not least,

Happy Birthday my beloved Bo!
131083
I heart u always

Promise

2009-10-05T01:53:00.003+08:00

I supposed to be in the bed now but I've realized actually am not sleepy..So tell me what to do? It's not the very first time as I facing the same problem since N years ago. I shall be getting use of it and I bet the rest of my life will be like this.. Lack of sleeping really kills your cells..and yeah, I successfully shoot down myself! *get me some applause please!*

The girl finally give up.. I wanted to forget about that night as if everything just happened yesterday. Anyway, close this topic..

I got screw by few person when I let them know everything. Don't ask me why, words can't express the feeling..I just wanna apologize to someone! SORRY! I broke the promise but I'm trying to mend it back. Trust my words what I've told you..I need a long break

I think I'm not in a right timing to blog about my situation..I shall stop now. Good night people!

Imsickofsickness

2009-09-29T01:17:00.006+08:00

Different colour splash on different situation
I always love the 7 colours because is very colourful
Don't you think so?

If I have a choice, I would like to be every of the colour
What I meant was IF
Well, I saw the black rainbow last night..sounds a bit ridiculous
But hey, don't ever see this kind of rainbow anymore
Once in my life time is effing sufficiency!
Am pretty nut "in sudden" so I did something very improper
even myself could not expected that did such sillyidiotstupidretard thingy
Ended up, who's gonna suffer?
Yeah, its I and Me
I seriously look pale than a corpse
Someone taught me to take a deep deep breathe
How deep will it be?
Guess I need a longer period of time
Feel so tiring with speaking and explaining so I shall keep my mouth a freak shut

*won't be attend class for today*
Uh-huh, because its 2.04am now

Lovely Jayden

2009-09-27T18:30:00.016+08:00

Picture of the day!!

I love you

Piggie mouth

Im gonna BITE you

Booo

Rrraww, showing my small teeth to you

Hmm...

Acting cool ehh

Do you love him? =D

Think non stop for this whole week, endless hours

But I have no idea what to do

Fact is, am being disqualified!

I doesn't want to speak..If anyone of my lucky star can read my mind

You will know what I want

Won't be smile for this year

*sigh*

Get up, Exercise!

2009-09-27T17:49:00.012+08:00

22.09.2009

It was Tuesday, the buddies wanted to play badminton so we went right to Serdang Perdana there. It's new badminton court so don't need bump to Balakong area dei. From my crib to the badminton court, I just need 10 minutes so am last person who reached there. 6 of us played for 2 hours. Totally exhausted! Then we had breakfast together. The next day, all the muscles complaining me..pain like hell~~~!!

Supposed have picnic on Friday unfortunately, we cancelled.. =( When will be the next time!?

It's Me!

Aycy busy playing game..lol

Sweat like nobody business

All became ZzzzzZ

Say peace to WWF

Lastly, thanks for your homemade mooncake =)

Taste good *thumbsup*

Girls outing

2009-09-23T00:00:00.014+08:00

16.09.2009

I hit a promised that gotta sleep at 1am tonight but can I make it? So before switch off the lappy, decided to blog about last week day outing. If not, im gonna drag it to don't know weeks after. Last Wednesday, the babe Fishy asked us out for jogging. Since never do exercise for that long, I could not reject it. It's girls jogging can? Sue, Fishy, Faye n I! They picked me up at 6.45am..headed to Bukit Jalil then we started to jog. Sudden we saw a playground so 4 of us bumped into there and went over the swing. We gabbing lotsa stuffs again.. Sue asked me.."Do you still remember the day we always swing together at..?" ...SURE I REMEMBER!! I'll never forget the days as its worth remembering..somehow am still missing it very very much!! Those days are too memorable right? =)

After breakfast with them, Sue came to my crib. We planned for outing so decided moved to Mid V! The best choice for us to laugh out loud is this movie I guess.. "Where Got Ghost?" ..Nah, I really don't like, hate, detest, disfavour on horror and disgusting movies. Never ever watch it..but this is different case. I used to covered my ears and eyes when watching it..hehehe.. In conclusion, its funny, a lil disgusting, some moral values.

Girls is always love to shop..No reason. Just LOVE!! Four of us shop for few hours then went for dinner as Sue is starving like nobody business. *sorry*.. XD ... Dinggg, dinner time at Pasta Zanmai! Okay, I enjoyed the moment when we laugh out loud..WhoAh!

My choice

Fishy is a vegetarian =)

Faye's selection

Ni betul...adui...hahaha

I heart u guys!

Green Sunday

2009-09-20T23:37:00.011+08:00

I gotta feeling
That today's gonna be good day~

A week before, my dear Baba ordered us that on Sunday *20.09.09* not to go anywhere as we going to have breakfast with his friends. Uncle & Aunt Lam, we have rarely chance to meet them as most of the time they will spend in Aussie & New Zealand! So okay, say yes to my Baba. Ended up, left only me accompany them because all the good brothers went out dei..*big applause* ..Another freaking good thingy, am so lack of slumber due to the insomnia..[ I don't know since when insomnia hunt on me..last few days I guess!? ] Then what? The Mama woke me up at 8am..BeJesus!! Am not interested with the early breakfast actually but Imma a good good girl :)

I didn't know where they stay as am all the way sleeping in the car. Once woke up, I saw TARC College, ..going on..Zoo Negara...on and on...getting futher and further..Almost Genting!? *big big applause* Anyhow, Uncle & Aunt are too friendly person. They prepared a lotsaaa breakfast for us. Did I mentioned Aunt Lam is a Korean? =) She loves to cook and planting! She can't live without this 2 thingy and even dream of cooking for everynight..LOL! Seriously, her cooking skill is bravo but of course my mom is number 1 in Tan's family =P. After eating, she showed her dearest baobei to us which is the plants! I never seen a person like her that enjoys of planting so much..She will just use organic fertiliser for the plant food, eat organic vegetables, organic chicken, organic salts and sugar! In conclusion, both of them advocate organic very much!

That's chilis

I forgot the name

Seems like grape eh?

Kind of tea..

Okay, too much till I forgot what's that
There are more than that

One of my best-loved.. Longan =)

Kimchi, Korean's favoured but not me ..I don't like!!

I had good day with them
Because Aunt taught me how to cook =D
But am interested on making desserts n bake cake more..
Teehee

Imma twitter maniac!
Always missing them

I still have leftover post but am LAZY!
Forgive my laziness and will post it up soon
Am still worrying of results..and..........sigh!
Stupid thingy makes me insomnia :(

Holidays

2009-09-15T18:25:00.012+08:00

What's better than holidays?? I've been waiting for these days and yeah..2 weeks of holidays is on progressing!! I seriously need it so so so so and so much! The AS Trial was like a cyclone which turned me upside down, mood swing easily due to the stress of exam and I'm really enough of it. So what about the final? =(
Received a letter from Taylors yesterday that referring about the final of AS! DUH..1 more month to go.. Examination is going on and on..The feeling is so gruesome that makes me wanna puke! I can't deny that am actually still very infelicitous with what am doing for this 7 months! Isn't life have endless of choices? Anyway, it's already a fact!

Last Friday which was my last day of trial..ended at 10am! WTH, just feel like throw away my bag after the killer paper!! No more headache, tiredness and so whatever because my adorable holidays is started at 10.01am. I'd been waiting for the lecturer to say "TIME UP, PENS DOWN!" =D Then went for breakfast with Sam, Nicole, and Faye..The Lu Yau n Sam gotta back to their hometowns for 2 weeks..AISEH!! Right after that, 3 of us planned for K session and we had chance to meet Nicole's friends. Nice to meet the 2 funny dudes! Their singing skill were not bad..totally bravo! =P They really makes me laugh till ass off..What a good good day!? AhhAaa

Then...
then.......
Then...........
Imma superb lazy person to talk about this few days
Overall, I love holidays!

Nah, didn't know that I need to wear a SPEC!!

古人说 "记得带[眼]识人啊!!"

是的..没错!!

Here's the video that I recorded

Their Chipmunk sounds is really very superb FUNNY!!

Sorry, the video is too dark =P

Connie Talbot ♥

2009-09-13T18:55:00.001+08:00

The amazing voice from Connie Talbot!
Can you imagine a 7 years old kid can sing so well!?
But she managed to do it
She began to sing when she's age of 2..LOL!
You will feel very touch when she sing "I'll always love you, Over the Rainbow, Ave Maria" and more..!
Watched her video over n over again.. =P
I A-D-O-R-E this little cutie!
=)

Special 999

2009-09-09T19:56:00.009+08:00

2 more..
2 more.....
2 more.......

2 more papers to kill on
Just 2 more!!!
I can't wait for holidays =D
Miss my bloggie!
Am so frigging boring with BOOKS!
So wish to have a sweet honeyed cupcake to cheer me up right now~

So peepzz..
Happy 090909
Will it be a nice day for everyone!?

Co-Curiculum Day for Tarcian

2009-09-04T16:32:00.029+08:00

22.08.2009- Saturday

Am neglected for period of time that I supposed post on last last week but due to the laziness+busyness so HeHeh.. It was Tournament Day for Tarcian..Fishy,Angie,Nico n Leon are involved so am being one of my bessy supporter! The second time been to Tarc college n it began like this..I was sleeping n sweet dreaming..all in sudden,Fishy texted me.."I'm coming"..it was 6.15am! Holy-dooly..I quickly dressed up myself then she came to picked me up! Seriously, am so dooly sleepy. As the tournament start at 8am so we had breakfast at mamak stall! Then headed to Tarc where all the participant were so nervous n excited for the volleyball competition. Besides that, I'm so so glad n thanks to God that it was not a scorching day! =) Am a girl who loves rainy days!

So Fishy's team known as T2, which blue in color so it's not a need but is a must to wear blue color shirt! So Sue n I are the supporters of course sat at there n watched saje la~..Unfortunately, it rain halfway so they force to stop n we went to the canteen n waited for the rain to stop. I know many peeps is so hatred of rainy days as it could be disturbance n interrupted them like cause jamming, n blah..Y don't try to listening to the musical rhythm of the falling rain would loosen up your mind!? Because of the rain, everyone of us force to go somewhere else to cover ourselves from heavy rain. We sat down at the same place..chit chatting..resting..so it might be a chance for peeps to gathered up. The rain stopped after that, so they ought to continue their competition..whereas Sue n I went for a walked. Who knows it rain again, both of us walked back to the canteen lagi! We chat for a while as I really had a hard time ..doesn't how to expressed out the feeling but anyhow, thanks to Sue!! She's always my personal doctor! LOL...

All right, back to the main point..Fishy's team had won so they in for semi-final! They really put effort on it n Ta-Dah, they won for the final! ;) Then we went for dinner at Old Town...A very very tiring day!! But guess they are more tired than me..

Girls in BLUE

The Black Team

T2's supporter!!

The blue blokes!

Stare at me huh!?

All in serious look.. =P

Aduii..smile la

This is better :)

Rain rain rain n rain again

Sue n I

Didn't act..really sleeping =.="

Their captain

It was so excited n they yell n yell~~

Final
Blue VS Green

Yeah, they won!

CONGRATULATION T2!

P/S: 3 had down, 5 more to go..Am so insane with rushing in time to do essays =(

Merdeka!

2009-08-31T13:11:00.005+08:00

Ain't that scary eh?

As I mentioned in the previous post, am so suffering with the bloody hell migraine till I got faint. LOL.. I spend more time on doctor more than my family. So the doctor suggested me went for roentgenogram which is X-ray photograph. Well, this is the second time for X-ray so didn't feel any uneasy of what but just got frighten by the doctor that he says "u better go for X-ray..*touchwood*..who knows your brain have a tumor?" I was like..What the hell are you talking about!? Honestly, my tears trickle on the spot. I was so lost on that moment that I hardly smell of dying. So went to Pudu Raya for X-ray checking..the Malay bloke asked me "Kamu sudah kahwin dah? Kerana takut kamu mengandung.." Another person who makes me speechless!! DUH.. I have no idea y the Malay bloke asked me such brainless question till I realized a notice board over there..!

The result came out, everything is so fine! Am so full of high spirited-merriment! Just the fact was am having migraine..so no more caffeine n cheese! This is a really sad case..

Really enough of so much difficulties
By now, I do hope every ill luck will fade away from me!
I wish!
Tomorrow is the AS Trial..god-damn-it!
Such a killer!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
MALAYSIA
N
MR. BRYANT LEE (Merdeka Boy)
=)

5 words [T-I-R-E-D]

2009-08-25T12:29:00.014+08:00

I really had a hard time since yesterday night. Never been like this before for this 18 years n it was like an aircraft strike on me.. Had a pretty migraine yet I don't realized as I thought it's just some kind of normal headache that everyone usually will experience on it. The painful sensation is so terrible horrible n vegetable!! Equally have numbness or a pins-and-needles sensation in the brain. I cried n yell out loud in the room..struggled solely off to bed..whole body was energy free. However, forced the self to endure the dreadfulness to covered up few chapters that I supposed need to do. The entirely dark knight hunted me so could not had a comfortable slumber. I was hope to BE O-K for today morning but yet the same..again went to consult Doctor Hoh. Everything should be settle down now.. Barely mood was still that shit down!

Trials on 1st of September which is next Tuesday..I know what should I do now but I can't do anything..not even a single piece of work. My brain is like dysfunction especially when comes to memorizing part. It's really bad being an emo n churl girl but sorry sorry n sorry!! Story of my life isn't interesting nor anything special. Entire of difficulties existing..Tell me how to overcome the following days? Lots of questions appeared in my mind now. Finally perceive the feeling of want to be ALONE..

Seriously, I'm panic with sickness. Being attack from all kind of crazy sick for this few months. I have no idea what is the next sick will come upon to me. Any listener? :'(

Tagged by Lu Yau

2009-08-23T18:32:00.010+08:00

Be honest no matter what, then tag at least 10 friends

01. Who was your last text from?
Matthew

02. Where was your default picture taken?
Hotel

03. Your relationship status?
Single

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yes..totally is not a good feeling

05. What is your current mood?
What if I say don't-know? Knowing something that makes my mood swing

06. How many siblings do you have?
Three

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
Benny, David, Perry

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
Wish to travel to somewhere else as don't wish to stay at here which torturing me

09. Have a crazy side?
Of course yes especially surrounding with my crazyyy buddies =D

10. Ever had a near death experience?
Nope or....

11. Something you do a lot?
Listening to music, surf net, sms, day dreaming, emo =.<

12. Angry at anyone?
Nope, just ignore it

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
Myself n the fact

14. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday night

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
Nope..what for? Too silly..LOL

16. What are you thinking about when you are falling asleep?
There's too many thing till I always having insomnia but recently have no time to think of something crap because too TIRED!!

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Kian Yap

18. What is your favorite song?
Too many..currently is Won't Say I'm Sorry n Don't Know Why

19. What are you doing right now?
Blogging, studying [2 in 1]

20. Who do you trust right now?
Myself, bessies n family

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Pjyamas bought by Mama XD

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
Jayden =)

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
PSC & WJY (=

24. Describe your life in one word?
Miserable

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
Right now thinking of JBX

26. What should you be doing right now?
Study boring Econ =(

27. What are you listening to?

侧田-B.O.K

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
Fishy WooJY

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
Mama =.="

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
Urmm, of course will [ It's normal la right? As long as not telling lies]

31. What is your natural hair color?
Black

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
There's 2 kind of laugh..you laugh because feel funny or from heart?

Okay, I did...my bessies =P

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
Someone *secret*

34. What do you hear?

Songs

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
straight

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
HUH?

37. Do you have a best friend?
Yeah, more than that <3

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
Nope

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
Always.. like =) , =P, =D , XD , ;)

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Urrrm, can't remember..I think have if I'm not mistaken

41. Are you happy with life right now?
I would like to have a better life compare to now.. that's the answer! :)

42. Are you currently jealous?
Previous months I will but not anymore

43. What jewelry are you wearing now?
Necklace

44. What were you doing on friday night?
Online n watch dramas..the most relax night!

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
YES!!!

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I don't think so? or maybe yes

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Yeah..Getting use of it already

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
Sensitive skin..Gosh, I can't have seafood anymore ='(

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
Yeah because the nightmare hunt me

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?

Nope

YOU'RE TAGGED :

Sue

Nicole

Jaynes

Grace

Elwin

Matthew

Sean

Kent

....

Charity Carnival [TUCMC]

2009-08-20T00:24:00.006+08:00

Wednesday - 12 . 08 . 2009

I know I'm very super late to blog about this due to my laziness! This was the carnival for Charity that organized by Taylor's University College Main Campus [TUCMC]. It was last Wednesday n yeah it come to this Thursday post..LOL!

Almost all of the Taylorians were so fussy with their stuffs included our class though. Everyone were so hectic on that day that had prepared games, foods, drinks, haunted house and so on. All just because of charity carnival :) Whereas my class PB4 had came out with "manicure/ french nails"! *thumbs up* It's profession la even I'm not! So the carnival started at 9am..supposed had law class in early in the morning but had CANCELLED! *clapp*clapppp*clappppp* ... As usual, we slack around to full fill the time. So just imagine how many peeps are there on that day plus the scorching weather, totally a blast! Sweating like nobody business.. After the war, everyone was like >.=..wanted to bump into the bed so much yet have to attend for Socio class which is really OMG! Seriously, I'm half died due to the painfulness! Anyhow, it's a pretty day!

The peepsss!

Busy yelling "Manicure..manicure"

The sample :)

Attractive aye?

Busy fussy time!

More and more~~

Aduii..I laugh non stop when I saw this guy!!
HeLLo Sean! HAHAs

The guy who loves the cock! =D
Thanks for "visiting" us

Nah, our class's LALA..
Guy in black nails..whoah!!

I spotted him
Giggle-ing...

Cheering...!!

Awww, dropped into the tank n got wet but still with smiley face
Don't u think that he's attractive?
Especially when give u a lovesome smile
:)

Set it Free

2009-08-16T02:27:00.007+08:00

The night is still young
I'd tried to close my eye to enjoy my slumber land
Unfortunately, butt glued to the chair n facing the lappy
Badly doesn't feel like doing anything
This suckie feeling had gone for sometime but it came back tonight
It's a really bad feeling that repeatedly shooting down me
If you facing me n asked what's the feeling?
Sorry, could not express out how suck was it
Don't follow me till entire life because you had blacken my life
Yes maybe there is a contradiction
or no
Somehow she found out someone
That's a nono for her as everything has ruined again
Am soooo LOST!!
Bring me colorful balloons

If you love something let it go,
If it comes back to you it's yours,
If it doesn't it never was

What is Meteor Shower?

2009-08-13T21:29:00.010+08:00

If you have never seen a meteor or, as some people call them, a "shooting star" or a "falling star," then I recommend going outside during late July or the first half of August, grab a reclining lawn chair, lay back, and look straight up. It is best if you do this close to midnight or later and, if there is very little light pollution and no moon in the sky, you are likely to see a meteor within a matter of minutes.

A meteor will appear as a fast-moving streak of light that will only last about a second or two. It may seem unexciting, but that meteor is traveling thousands of miles per hour and, in most cases, is smaller than a pea!

So, how does a pea-sized (or smaller) object from outer space manage to put on such a show? The truth is you are not seeing the actual particle from space, but the reaction of the gases in our atmosphere as they react to friction caused by this rapidly moving object as it falls through the sky above you. Most meteors completely burn up in the atmosphere at altitudes of between 60 and 80 miles.

The particles causing the appearance of a meteor are an interesting class of astronomical objects. The name given to them actually changes depending on where they are. While moving through space, the particles are referred to as meteoroids. When they enter Earth's atmosphere they are referred to as meteors. If they happen to be large enough to hit the surface of Earth they are referred to as meteorites.

Although there are meteoroids that are orbiting the sun alone, there are other meteoroids that are traveling in a cloud of meteoroids. This later group is moving within the orbit of a comet or an extinct comet. Astronomers discovered back in the 19th century that comets shed particles every time they passed close to the sun. There are some comets whose orbits are located very close to the orbit of Earth and, at certain times each year, Earth passes through a cloud of particles, which results in a meteor shower.

Meteor showers are given names that are derived from the constellations they appear to radiant from. One of the most famous meteor showers is the Perseid shower of August. Peaking on the night of August 12/13, the Perseids usually produce rates of between 40 to 60 per hour for most observers. Observers with better eyes and ideal observing conditions (i.e., no light pollution and very clear skies) have reported seeing between 80 and 100 per hour. Other strong meteor showers that are visible every year are the Quadrantids, Eta Aquarids, Orionids, and Geminids.

Anyone waiting for meteor??

I wish to have a chance to watch =C

Rainey Lifestyle

Sorry

Like or Love

iamcrying theheartisbleeding

ymi

Are you?

Love yourself first

Restless

Windy night

814

傻瓜

Little girl

Study break

读出我心声

不愿忘记你，却也不想记起你

Hectic

Break

Short update

Lifeisaboutwhat

我不知道

Short update

Crap

Booo

Back!

Unpredictable action

Untitled

Tiger Year

Busy like a bee

Twisting mind

Enough

Live, Laugh, Life

I'm back

Watcha say

Dream world

Simply thought

Ma Zi

2009..SHOO!

X'mas Eve

Ding Dong Bell

Hi? Hello? Hey?Holla?

The way I am

So Blue!

Memorable 712

Genting freaks

Phobia

The strike

2 in 1

3.27am

Goodbye

Active us

Untitled post

Jayden big day!

Stay strong, girl

I'm free

世界有咁大 你又点玩嗮?

RIP?

Promise

Imsickofsickness

Lovely Jayden

Get up, Exercise!

Girls outing

Green Sunday

Holidays

Connie Talbot ♥

Special 999

Co-Curiculum Day for Tarcian

Merdeka!

5 words [T-I-R-E-D]

Tagged by Lu Yau

Charity Carnival [TUCMC]

Set it Free

What is Meteor Shower?

世界有咁大你又点玩嗮?